‘Darkest interval of my life’: Homosexual conversion remedy in Italy

Rosario Lonegro was solely 20 years previous when he entered a Catholic seminary in Sicily as an aspiring priest getting ready to be ordained. However whereas there he fell in love with one other man and his superiors demanded that he bear conversion remedy geared toward erasing his sexual preferences if he wished to proceed on the trail to the priesthood.

“It was the darkest interval of my life,” he instructed the BBC, recalling his expertise on the seminar in 2017.

Affected by guilt and concern of committing a sin within the eyes of the Catholic Church, Rosario mentioned he “felt trapped with no alternative however to repress my true self.”

“The psychological stress of being somebody I wasn't was insurmountable. I couldn't change irrespective of how laborious I attempted.”

For greater than a yr, he was compelled to take part in non secular conferences exterior the seminary, some lasting a number of days, the place he was subjected to a sequence of harrowing actions designed to strip him of his sexual inclinations.

These included being locked in a darkish closet, being compelled to strip bare in entrance of different individuals, and even being compelled to behave out his personal funeral.

Throughout these rituals, he was tasked with placing down on paper his perceived flaws, resembling “homosexuality,” “abomination,” “falsehood,” and much more express phrases, which he was then compelled to bury underneath a symbolic tombstone.

The World Well being Group (WHO) eliminated homosexuality from its listing of psychological issues in 1990. Subsequent scientific analysis has largely concluded that makes an attempt to vary sexual orientation are usually not solely ineffective but additionally dangerous.

In France, Germany and predominantly Catholic Spain, conversion therapies have been formally banned, and efforts are underway in each England and Wales to ban such practices.

Right now, in Italy it’s virtually unattainable to find out the exact scope of those practices, reported primarily by males, but additionally by some ladies, and there’s no commonplace authorized definition of them.

In current months, nevertheless, the BBC has performed interviews with plenty of younger homosexual folks throughout the nation who’ve shared their experiences of being subjected to pseudoscientific group conferences or particular person remedy periods geared toward turning them heterosexual.

A 33-year-old man who attended such conferences for greater than two years expressed his preliminary motivation: “I wished to reconcile with myself. I didn't need to be homosexual. I assumed I wanted to heal.”

“I noticed that as my solely path to acceptance,” mentioned one other. He was not attempting to be a priest, however merely looking for acceptance in his every day life.

Homosexual conversion remedy shouldn’t be restricted to a particular area of Italy: group conferences and particular person remedy periods are held all through the nation, some even led by licensed psychotherapists. In some circumstances, these conferences and remedy periods are unofficial and covert, and are sometimes promoted by discreet conversations and secret referrals.

Different programs are publicly introduced, and well-known figures inside Italy's conservative circles actively search followers on-line and on social media platforms to advertise their potential to vary sexual orientations.

In Sicily, Rosario Lonegro was primarily the topic of conferences organized by the Spanish group Verdad y Libertad, underneath the management of Miguel Ángel Sánchez Cordón. This group has since disbanded, having incurred the disapproval of the Catholic Church.

Nevertheless, the Italian priest who initially pushed Lonegro into these practices was assigned a high-level place inside the Church, whereas others continued to be impressed by Sánchez Cordón's strategies in Italy.

Lots of the folks the BBC spoke to referred to Luca di Tolve, a “ethical/non secular coach” who gained recognition by his e-book titled “I used to be homosexual as soon as. In Medjugorie I discovered myself.”

On their web site, Di Tolve and his spouse boast of being a “content material couple” who search to “assist anybody whose sexual id is in disaster, serving to them genuinely train their freedom to find out who they need to be as an individual.” Contacted by the BBC, Di Tolve didn’t reply.

One other lively particular person selling methods to deal with perceived sexual orientation is Giorgio Ponte, a author well-known in Italy's ultra-conservative circles. He says he desires to assist folks overcome their homosexuality and be liberated, telling his personal story as a person with gay impulses who’s on his path to “doubtlessly lifelong” freedom.

“In my expertise, gay attraction arises from an harm to 1's personal id that hides wants not associated to the sexual-erotic side however linked to a distorted notion of oneself, which is mirrored in all points of life,” he says. he instructed the BBC.

“I feel gay particular person ought to have the liberty to attempt [to become heterosexual]”If they need, realizing, nevertheless, that it will not be potential for everybody,” he added.

Lately, dozens of younger women and men have sought steering from folks like Di Tolve, Ponte and Sánchez Cordón. Amongst them is Massimiliano Felicetti, 36, a homosexual man who fought makes an attempt to vary his sexual orientation for greater than 15 years.

“From a really early age I started to really feel uncomfortable with myself, I felt that I’d by no means be accepted by my household, society, and Church circles. I assumed I used to be fallacious, I simply wished to be beloved and these folks provided me hope,” she mentioned.

Felicetti mentioned he had tried totally different options, consulting psychologists and members of the clergy who provided to assist him develop into heterosexual. Nevertheless, about two years in the past he determined to cease doing it. A friar who knew of his battle inspired him to start out relationship a girl, but it surely didn't appear pure to him.

“After I kissed her for the primary time, it didn't appear pure to me. It was time to cease pretending,” Felicetti mentioned.

Just some months in the past he got here out as homosexual to his household. “It took me years, however for the primary time I'm completely satisfied to be who I’m.”

Regardless of makes an attempt by earlier governments to advertise a invoice to oppose conversion therapies, no progress has been made in Italy. Italy's right-wing authorities led by Giorgia Meloni has thus far taken a hostile stance towards LGBT rights, and the prime minister herself has promised to deal with the so-called “LGBT foyer” and “gender ideology.”

This lack of progress doesn’t shock Michele Di Bari, a researcher in comparative public legislation on the College of Padua, who says Italy is structurally a lot slower at implementing modifications in comparison with different Western European international locations.

“It is a very elusive phenomenon, provided that it’s a observe prohibited by Italy's personal school of psychologists. Nevertheless, within the Italian authorized system it isn’t thought-about unlawful. “Individuals who perform such practices can’t be punished.”

Regardless of the complexity of the difficulty, specialists imagine that partially due to Italy's robust Catholic affect, the nation has been extra reluctant to ban these controversial practices.

“This can be one of many components that, along with a strongly patriarchal and sexist tradition, hinders a broader understanding of homosexuality and LGBT rights,” mentioned Valentina Gentile, a sociologist at LUISS College in Rome.

“Nevertheless, additionally it is truthful to say that not all Catholicism is hostile to the inclusion of variety and the Church itself is in a interval of robust transformation on this regard,” he added.

Pope Francis has mentioned that the Catholic Church is open to everybody, together with the homosexual neighborhood, and that it has the responsibility to accompany them on a private path of spirituality, however inside the framework of its norms.

Nevertheless, the Pope himself was reported to have used a extremely derogatory time period in direction of the LGBT neighborhood when he mentioned in a closed-door assembly with Italian bishops that homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to develop into monks. The Vatican issued an official apology.

Rosario Lonegro has left Sicily behind and likewise lives in Milan. After a nervous breakdown in 2018, she left each the seminary and the conversion remedy group.

Though he nonetheless believes in God, he not desires to be a priest. He shares a flat along with his boyfriend, research philosophy and does occasional freelance jobs to pay for school. Nevertheless, the psychological wounds inflicted by these actions nonetheless run deep.

“Throughout these conferences, a mantra haunted me and was repeated over and over: 'God didn't make me like this. God didn't make me homosexual. It's only a lie I inform myself, 'I assumed it was evil,' he mentioned.

“I’ll always remember that.”

When you have been affected by any of the problems raised on this story, you may go to BBC motion line.